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18 Feb 2016

Four Simple Self-Love Phrases That Will Change Your Life

I Love You, I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You.

 These four simple phrases are part of Hawaiian problem solving process Ho’oponopono to release memories that are experienced as problems.

Ho’oponopono means to make right. Essentially, it means to make it right with the ancestors, or to make right with the people with whom you have relationships.

I first came across these four phrases of Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len’s, a Hawaiian psychiatrist, when I was searching for a mantra to help me get through emotional pain that I was experiencing after separation from a friend I deeply loved and cared about. I was searching for help, because I was not able to just simply let go of the sadness and all the thinking of how things could have gone differenly. I also had a feeling of guilt for ending the friendship on bad terms and at the time no amount of spiritual knowledge and understanding brought me any feeling of harmony until this.

What you might wish to understand is how this can possibly work. How can you heal yourself and have it heal others? How can you even heal yourself?

Dr. Len explains that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life – simply because it is in your life – is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.  And by repeating these four phrases you are simply healing the part of you that created the relationships in your life.

I like simple! And when I gave it a try, it worked!  As a matter of fact the results are often astounding.

Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life.

This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy – anything you experience and don’t like – is up for you to heal. They don’t exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn’t with them, it’s with you, and to change them, you have to change you.



I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I read more about Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in ho’oponopono means loving yourself. If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone – you do it by healing you.

The secret is – everything happens to you in your mind. Everything you see, everything you hear, every person you meet, you experience in your mind. You only think it’s “out there” and you think that absolves you of responsibility. In fact it’s quite the opposite: you are responsible for everything you think, and everything that comes to your attention. If you watch the news, everything you hear on the news is your responsibility. That sounds harsh, but it means that you are also able to clear it, clean it, and through forgiveness change it.


[dt_quote type=”blockquote” font_size=”big” animation=”none” background=”plain”]Turns out that self-love or loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.[/dt_quote]


There are four simple steps to this method, and the order is not that important. Repentance, Forgiveness, Gratitude and Love are the only forces at work – but these forces have amazing power.

The best part of the updated version of Ho’oponopono is you can do it yourself, you don’t need anyone else to be there, you don’t need anyone to hear you. You can “say” the words in your head. The power is in the feeling and in the willingness of the Universe to forgive and love.


With love & gratitude,




Do you love yourself enough to give these four phrases a try?! Let us know how it worked out for you, in the comment section below!